Instead of giving ourselves ammunition for self- hatred, sharing our mental health can limit isolation.
Parents: Your Important
As parents I think were often to harsh towards ourselves, we put so much stress on our shoulders to be perfect, to always feel happy and to feel ok. The pressure builds and we start to think were worthless and we are a terrible father, a horrible mother, our thoughts swim into one another and we end up believing, our children deserve a better parent because were not enough for them.
We carry the fuel tin and burn whatever relationship we have with our children because we don’t value ourselves enough, to believe we can be forgiven, and we can have a second chance to try again.
I really want to encourage anyone who is a parent who has a mental illness, please talk to your children if they are of age that they’ll understand what you’re talking about. Your important and the earlier you talk to them the better, your children are important and so are you, you won’t feel free until you feel the warmth of being loved.
Children are amazing and they usually surprise us, they can handle certain things we think they can’t.
Dear parents, your mental health is important, and you don’t have to do this journey on your own, it feels like your climbing a mountain and every cliff leads to another summit. Please don’t forsake the journey and keep up the conversation, involve your children the best way you can, they need to know what you’re going through, and I promise they’ll want to help, the best they can.
Your important, you are loved and you’re not a burden to yourself or to them.
You can only pretend for so long, until one of your children ask you what’s truly going on. They’ll ask until your frustrated, they’ll poke and prod till they get an answer, please know they do this because they care, they do this because it’s how there expressing the love they have for; not right now and only when your ready, please take the opportunity to talk to them.
Dear parents, your story is important and right now you might feel like what’s the point, it always feels the same and the monster is constantly lurking around every corner.
You’re not alone.
Parents: Single Father
Relationships are difficult and dealing with a mental illness is one thing but being a single father and having a mental illness is another thing entirely. I know you’re doing you’re best right now and that’s awesome don’t give up, you are encouraging so many people right now. Mental health can be ugly, it can cause a range of emotional strain and emotional grief, yet you’ve stayed the course and you haven’t given up. Society says your a statistic; life says you should’ve given up years ago.
Dear fathers, thank you for staying strong, thank you for being they’re for your children, thank you for trying your best to be both parents. Thank you for not giving up on yourself, thank you for staying.
It’s not courage that caused you to stay it was compassion, it was the love that bled form your heart every time you saw your child’s face. It’s every moment you get to spend with your children helping them with their homework and encouraging them in their talents. Your awesome and for that you should give yourself some credit, don’t short-change your worth for the sake of stigma.
I know your trying to be the father you never had, but Please also forgive your own father, unforgiveness will find a way to seep into your life. It’s better to forgive than it is to hold onto the evidence of someone else’s mistake.
Dear fathers, once again we say thank you so much, you are needed, you important and your children need you.
Parents: Single Mother
Sometimes you feel like a burden, you feel as if it’s not ok to feel broken, or to feel like you need a break from your children or your child. You put an unrealistic expectation on yourself to strive to be the perfect parent, the best mum and a perfect person. Your harsh towards yourself and think what’s wrong and why do I suck so much.
Dear mothers, Stop, take a break, let yourself feel something other than the amount of times you fail, the times you stuff up, stop lying to yourself about the person you cannot be. Stop pretending like you must be someone you don’t have to be, your loved for who you are not who you think your children are waiting for you to become.
Your children know you are enough, they know how much you love them, they know how hard you work to give them the best life they could possible have. They know how many times you’ve been there for them, and they certainly know how many times you’ll always be present.
When you feel broken, please talk to your children please choose forgiveness of self over isolation. Tear down walls instead of building new ones, please ignore the lie that you’re not good enough.
Dear mothers, I know you think it’s not ok that your single that you must suck so much, to have been made a single parent. You’re not ugly and your definitely not alone, please forgive yourself and feed your soul some truth for a change. I know you’ve cried yourself to sleep most nights, I know you spend more time building walls around your heart rather than knocking them down.
It’s important to note that your children don’t think you’re a burden, there not wishing they had a better mother. I don’t know your situation, but I do know this, a child eventually realises they can’t live without the love for there parents or parent.
You lock yourself in your room, hurt your self-worth by harming yourself, spend more self-sabotaging your potential rather than influencing your purpose.
You keep secrets from your parents because you think your damaged goods and theirs no value in healing, there’s no value for your life.
Dear children, please stop, take stock of everything you keep telling yourself and ask if it is causing self-esteem to flourish or fall flat on it’s face. Talk to your parents and let them in, let them help, it feels like there everywhere and you can’t go anywhere without asking them. It’s called love, it’s something parents have for their children that will never go away, so please accept that.
Understand they’ll worry, they’ll ask questions and they will make sure your ok, sometimes more times than you’d like. It’s because they care, you don’t have to wrestle with a mental illness by yourself. You have dad, you have mum, or you have one or the other, point is theirs always someone.
Much love, Shaun