I’ve never felt like I couldn’t live my life, but I have felt the preassure and darkness of depression. Its a shadow that wraps itself around your arms and legs and its something no one else can see, that brings a whole new meaning to the saying ‘you don’t know what I’m going through’
The above description is exactly what my experience with depression has been like, its nothing short of scary and something you hope no one has to go through alone. Although I think people should know what its like, I think we want help from the people we’ve never told about our suffering but the reality is people can’t help if they don’t know your pain.
It’s like wanting a conversation that’ll help bring healing and resolution to the pain, but instead consuming things that’ll never help you heal.
They rush in to commemce CPR not knowing you can’t heal what your going through with Cardiopulmonary resuscitation, if only they knew… Someone else comes in with a first aid kit and a helping hand, not knowing the wound you have is internal. If only they knew….
Your life is not a board game of ‘I’m hurting please find out why’ your life is important, pain exist but so does purpose and we should never sell our potential to the lowest bidder. Because theres a friend who paid the highest price and his name is Jesus. People may come to bring help and healing but theres no hope if no one knows what your going through.
Someone will end up bringing a cast for a person who’s not broken, mean while a conversation is dying because no one knew the hell you were going through. Often we think talk is cheap while forgetting its often the difference between life & death.
Anyone can build a wall but the lie will always tell you ‘let no one in and you’ll never be hurt’ but the TRUTH is hurt can’t heal if you never open up and we are never meant to carry the burden that only weighs us down. Maybe this year you can finally tell someone you trust what’s really going on?
I think my depression was so crippling fof so long, because I assumed that strong people carry their own burdens. I soon came to understand that real strength comes when were honest.
Maybe I loved the idea of wearing a mask and faking a smile, it made life comfortable, it made pretending easy.
I knew I was only hurting myself at a deeper level and keeping this to myself only made things worse. The People in my life at that time, never knew how I felt, pain turned inward and it manifested into how I started treating people and myself.
The truth about pretending is that wounds are never exposed. Pain is nver revealed and maybe it’s because we think nonone will actually care, or maybe we think our stories not worth telling…
To which I can only ssy this.
The truth about pretending is, Please tell someone about the pain, about how you feel and what you think. We’ve lost to many people and I don’t want to see you go.
Much love, Shaun