Something that took me a long time to realise was that people need people. I always tried to do life on my own, pray on my own, be not really an integral part of my group of friends. I always stood on the outskirts. Mostly because I’d been hurt so many times before.
I never knew though, that we never really reach our potential without other people. Our highest function that we independently can possibly have in society relies on people, because it’s what we provide to others that gives us our sense of fulfillment and purpose; whether that’s just funny jokes to brighten people’s day or whether we’re really skilled at something in particular, it makes no difference… it’s all needed, and only we can do what we were born to do.
A lot of my life I tried to be a lone wolf, I tried to live life not relying on anyone because it was safer that way, I had control. But there came a time I was no longer in control, and anxiety hit. I had no sense of self, I was not prepared to have other people in my life because I spent years shutting people out. It took a lot of effort to retrain my brain to deal with having to live with and around other people, relying on other people, caring for other people. I really had to knuckle down and find a sense of self, find my purpose so I could do that one thing well, and that people could rely on me mutually.
It can take a long time to nitpick through your traits, your skills, your personality. I finally found what I’m good at and started doing it. Now things are starting to change.
I find now my anxiety is less prevalent. Not because I have control but because I no longer need it. I find myself more calm in the face of turmoil and more passionate and determined to be a person of action. Because I gave myself boundaries, I gave myself rules, I said THIS is who I am and I acted as the best me I could be. Instead of needing to hold onto all of life’s troubles, stress, and problems I’ve learned to let go. By letting myself be one of the people, being the guy who does this really well, that people look to when they’re in need.
It wasn’t just that I needed people, the thing that I was really missing was that people needed me.