Have you ever been in a place for so long that it becomes normal, like changing anything in the room or even in your life, causes thoughts of trauma.
But what if a change in perspective is necessary to be free.
When I think about the concept of blame, I automatically think about the people I use to blame for how broken I felt. Pointing my finger at everyone and blaming them for the person I’d become, and for the lack of self- worth I had.
Although it seems like the best call in the moment, in retrospect blaming others makes you a slave, a victim and a prisoner whose chains are never broken.
You become infused in the notion that the only way to get ahead in life is to blame others, rather than taking responsibility for yourself.
See when someone hurts us no matter how bad, it is our responsibility how we respond. We can’t blame everything on everyone, or even blame everything that’s wrong in our life on one specific person. You hurt yourself and stunt the growth of your life, by never taking any responsibility.
Ofcourse things happen that are out of our control, maybe you were sexually abused, maybe the bullying caused so much psychological trauma it’s difficult to overcome negative self- talk. In those situations, I cannot and will not talk about how easy or how hard it would be to not blame someone.
But can I encourage you that your life deserves more than living an existence of blaming others rather than living with the hope, joy and freedom you owe yourself.
Blame is placed so easy on other people, whether it’s a heavy burden or not, however we also need responsibility.
I will go deeper into one thing I mentioned above, because I can talk about bullying and the psychological trauma it causes. You can either end up in one two places and one leads to a totally life.
The first is accepting what happen, but not letting what was said or what was done to you, define who you are as a person. Because blaming a bully for the confidence we don’t have, gives them room to grow in our life.
The second is what I’ve mentioned “blame”, each time you take a step to move forward and having found even the slightest bit of confidence. If blame has a place in your life, no matter how confident you feel, blaming someone is still apart of who you are; if you don’t let go of the past.
I can guarantee you that I would not be the person I am today, had I not stopped blaming others for the person I was slowly becoming. In some ways I being the bully, I was mistreating the people “I loved”. We all have mistakes, but they don’t have to define us.
And if your currently in the place we’re you blame people for the person you are and your circumstance. I encourage you to forgive that person or those people and move on, with your life.
Blame just poisons the heart and makes you think, everyone owes you something.
Much love, Shaun